tv meme - 8 currently airing shows | Parks and Recreation

‘We didn’t volunteer to help you because we wanted to wrap ourselves in personal glory. We did it because we…care about you. You had a dream and we wanted to support your dream. That’s what you do when you care about someone - you support ‘em win, lose, or draw.’

tv meme - 8 currently airing shows | Saturday Night Live

-‘After you’ve been with one of those guys, you’ll ask yourself, “Did I do that?”’
-‘Stefon, if I were you, I’d be asking myself that all the time. Stefon, not to belabor the point, but we were looking for fun activities a mom, a dad, a grandma, a grandpa, and some kids could enjoy. You instead took us on a tour of a coked-up gay Candyland.’

tv meme - 8 currently airing shows | The Vampire Diaries

‘I’m one hundred and sixty two years old and I’m going to a homecoming dance. I need better ties.’

Marie’s favourite characters ever ever - Damon Salvatore [The Vampire Diaries]

‘I’m lost. I have a secret, a big one. But I’ve never said it out loud. What’s the point? It’s not gonna change anything. It’s not gonna make me good, make me adopt a puppy. I can’t be what other people want me to be. What she wants me to be. This is who I am. You are my existential crisis. Do I kill you or do I not kill you? But I have to Jessica, because I’m not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret. But there is only so much hurt a man can take. ‘ ‘Ahhh, and the evil slut vampire who only ever loved herself.’ ‘You do not come into my town, threaten people I care about. Going after Elena? Bad move. You leave her alone or I will rip you to bits. Because I do believe in killing the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message. If Katherine wants something from me you tell that bitch to come get it herself.’ ‘There`s no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.’ ‘Because what I’m about to say is probably the most selfish thing that I’ve ever said in my life. I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you, Elena. And it’s because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you, why you can’t know this. I don’t deserve you, but my brother does. God, I wish that you didn’t have to forget this, but you do.’ ‘Oh, Stefan’s smiling! Alert the media!’

Marie’s favourite characters ever ever - Michael Scott [The Office]

‘Yes, money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I’m going to be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money-wise.’ ‘Thats what he said. Right guys? Cos of gay?’ ‘Well, got almost everybody, so…Holly’s my family now. She’s my family, and the babies that I make with her will be my children. The people that you work with are just, when you get down to it, your very best friends. They say on your deathbed, you never wish you spent more time at the office, but I will.’ ‘Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and… I have a great one. “lil kid lover”. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.’ ‘Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. ‘What is Diwali?’ you may ask. Well, to have Kelly explain it, ‘It’s blah, blah, blah, blah. It’s so super fun, and it’s gonna be great!’ Lot of gods with unpronounceable names. Twenty minutes later, you find out that it is essentially a Hindu Halloween.’

Marie’s favourite characters ever ever - Phil Dunphy [Modern Family]

‘I am brave. Roller coasters? Love ‘em. Scary movies? I’ve seen Ghostbusters like 7 times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah I am pretty much not afraid of anything. Except clowns. Never shared that with the ‘fam, so shhh! I do have an image to maintain. I am not really sure where the fear comes from, my mother says it’s cause when I was a kid I found a dead clown in the woods. But who knows?’ ‘Im the cool Dad. I text - LOL: Laugh Out Loud, OMG: Oh My God, WTF: Why The Face. I know all the dances to High School Musical sooo…’ ‘In nature, fathers are known to eat their young. Is it because they’re delicious? No. It’s because they want to give their female… bear, giraffe, what have you… the honeymoon they never had. Just to be clear: I don’t condone eating your kids, although I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.’ ‘The iPad comes out on my actual birthday. It’s like God and Steve Jobs got together and said “We love you, Phil.”’ ‘That was hardly porn - it was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.’

The girls of Glee.

Marie’s favourite characters ever ever - Kelly Kapoor [The Office]

‘Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.’ ‘I swallowed a tape worm last night. It’s going to grow up to three feet inside of me, and then it eats all of my food so that I don’t get fat. And then after three months, I take some medicine, and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It’s from Mexico.’ ‘If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself like Romeo and Juliet…the Claire Danes one.’ ‘I don’t talk trash; I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical like ‘Your Mama’s so fat she could eat the internet’ but smack talk is happening like right now, like you’re ugly and I know it for a fact cause I got the evidence right there.’ ‘Daryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I have ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of game is that??’

The men of Saturday Night Live

The cast of Parks & Recreation

‘This campaign’s been the time of our life.’
aka Jason looks significantly from Kristen to Andy and the three of them are basically singing ‘SNL has been the time of our life’ because they are leaving and everything hurts.

Marie’s favourite characters ever ever - April Ludgate [Parks and Recreation]

‘So this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And um, this is a TV screen that’ll be like a big flat screen TV and it’ll play looped video of knee surgeries. And then, this is a human-size hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one. And it’ll be spinning and there will be like a fat guy in it all the time like screaming and like eating raw beef and like bleeding and like blood will come out of his mouth and stuff. And um, it’ll be like right next to, the mural.’ ‘Oh I don’t know Jerry, it’s Sunday night, I’m making phone calls to strangers, and you’re in my house. My life couldn’t be worse.’ ‘Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry?’ ‘We have a couple of house rules, though. You can’t use the front door; you have to climb in through the back window. No personal phone conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal “usted.” And no electricity after 6:00 PM. A couple more rules: if you ever watch a sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no TV after breakfast.’ ‘I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?’